I am Julia

my soul dances for you <3

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:01:51 -0400

my soul dances for you <3

spiritualinspiration: www.facebook.com/naeemcallaway

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 20:56:06 -0400

spiritualinspiration:

www.facebook.com/naeemcallaway

you are beautiful.

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:28:01 -0500

you are beautiful.

forever with my savior

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 01:58:14 -0500

You know what I am SO stoked for?

Today I was thinking about how temporary this life is. This body, these circumstances, this world-its all temporary. Sure, life is awesome adventure, but something greater is coming. I am so excited to spend eternity with my Savior. I cannot wait to just sit in the presence of our beautiful God forever. That is pretty dang awesome

Photo

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:19:42 -0500

3 things i was reminded of today...

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:18:41 -0500

1. Don’t let anyone put out your fire

2. You can’t fully love someone (or yourself) until you are fully satisfied by God

3. God will always fight for your heart. You are worth it to Him.

crossroads

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 02:23:44 -0500

I am at a point in my life where in order to surrender everything, I have to let go of something that has brought me comfort, security, and control for most of my life. This is something that will glorify Him-but it is going to be extremely painful. I find that I have two options: cling to my familiarity, or take a jump into the deep end and trust that God is there to catch me. So here I am, at a crossroads. Why is this so hard?

This particular sin has been my crutch for years. It has literally destroyed my physical body, broken apart important friendships, eaten away my thoughts, and yet I still let it have power over me. I am still having a hard time deciding if I can let it go and be totally done with it.

Sometimes it is easy to make decisions. Most people just think “what will lead to my happiness?” or “what will benefit me most?”. Most people take the easy way out by making decisions that lead to personal “success”.

Followers of God are set apart because we are willing to sacrifice our lives -our own benefit, success, and happiness to build God’s Kingdom.

I just want to encourage those of you who may be standing at the same place I am- take that first step towards God’s calling. You may not have enough strength to keep walking down that road at first. But that is the beauty of it-God will carry you there. It is ok to be unsure or scared to let go of something, or do something out of your comfort zone. Honestly, it sucks. But don’t ever lose hope. Even if you doubt God and start going down the wrong road, God will bring you back. When I try to run the opposite direction of God, I always find myself on my knees in total surrender.

If you are reading this and you are struggling to let go of something (an addiction, a relationship, an idol, etc) then I want to encourage you to trust our Father. All you have to do is let God take it away from you so He can replace it with something much more fulfilling-unconditional, real love.

Wonderful things I am thankful for...

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 01:40:45 -0500

1. having a passion to dance and the opportunity to dance every day for God’s glory

2. the promise of God’s word- when everything else fails, it will always remain

3. having amazing and supportive friends who are always here for me to remind me of God’s love when I feel alone

4. sisters who will always be my best friends

5. a dad and stepmom who are SO supportive of my passions and dreams in life. They believe in me when I don’t believe in myself

6. a healthy body that functions

7. a bed to sleep in each night

7. the chance to talk to God whenever I want to… He is always listening and watching over me

8. the opportunity to go to a performing arts school and major in dance

9. music!- it brings so much joy to my life every day

10. and the most important blessing of all.. Jesus, the love of my life, died for me and set me free

"Forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace. The cost to God was the Cross of Christ. To forgive sin,..."

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:43:18 -0500

“Forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace. The cost to God was the Cross of Christ. To forgive sin, while remaining a holy God, this price had to be paid.”

- Oswald Chambers

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper and not to..."

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:07:10 -0500

““For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper and not to harm you.. Plans to give you a hope and a future””

- Jeremiah 29:11

"I’m running to your arms. I’m running to your arms. The riches of your love will always..."

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:10:36 -0500

“I’m running to your arms. I’m running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the world forever reign.”

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you"

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:53:06 -0400

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”

- James 4:8

tee hee i love charlie brown. Happy Halloween!

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:34:14 -0400

tee hee i love charlie brown. Happy Halloween!

"We are hard pressed on ever side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but..."

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:00:58 -0400

“We are hard pressed on ever side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed”

- 2 Corinthians 4:8

Boba and Suicide Hill

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:16:24 -0400

It’s crazy how much God loves me. He will literally do anything to remind me that He is holding onto me, even when I am going through a desert period. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but I felt like my life was falling apart this week. The whole week I felt like I was on autopilote. I was just going through my daily routines, letting the business take over my day so I wouldn’t realize how much I was actually hurting. Then on Wednesday, EVERYTHING came crashing down. It started off with car problems. I have always had bad luck with my car so I should’ve expected it. My car did not start in the morning so I did not make it to ballet on time. Then I found out that I am failing three classes! I am not one to stress out about grades, but this terrified me because if I am not passing all of my classes, I will not be allowed to choreograph in the spring. The department made a new rule that dancers who want to submit a choreography proposal, must also submit a grade check form that the teachers sign. Then I had a conference with my jazz teacher, Alicia. She basically ripped my heart out. She was very hurtful and made me insecure about my dancing and my body. According to Alicia, my technique had gone down the drain and she was very disappointed in me. She told me that I was not myself and I needed to step it up. She questioned how I would even make it into the real world of dance if I didn’t start working hard again. Alicia is someone who had always motivated me and believed in me. She has always praised me for my technique and dedication. So to hear this from her killed me. I left her conference devastated. It seemed like everything I had worked SO hard for, was all for nothing. Then after a long day of technique classes and a 5 hour rehearsal, I get a text from an old friend saying that I failed him for not keeping in touch. He said that he has lost faith and has given up on God and the church.. and it was MY fault. This was the last straw. I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. I broke down in the dance studio parking lot that night and felt like a total failure. Everything was falling apart and I couldn’t handle it. On top of all of this, I should have been studying for my big anatomy test that I had the next morning. I knew I should have been cramming for it right after rehearsal but all I could do was think about how I was a disappointment to everyone. I finally got in my car and called Ryan, one of my best friends.

That night Ryan came over and just held me while I cried and told me that everything was going to be ok. She reminded me to breath. I told her everything that I had been keeping inside and she comforted me. After I let everything out, she asked me if I had spent time with God. I realized that the entire day, I was running on empty, trying to make it through one of the roughest days of my life, when God just wanted me to cry out to Him. He had already known what was happening. He was there the whole time, protecting my heart. I just needed to let Him help me. I was almost embarassed when I told her I had not. I could not face God. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone else, especially God. So I thought I should just go through the day on my own. She encouraged me to pray before I did anything because God wanted to carry me through this. I was so thankful for her kind words and warm hugs. After talking to Ryan, I calmed down a lot and just asked God why He was letting all of these horrible things happen. I was angry. Why didn’t God protect me from all of this. Was He punishing me? The least He could’ve done was remind me that He was there so I didn’t feel totally alone.

God quickly reminded me of all the ways He showed up for me and protected me that day. First, He reminded me of His love through other people in my life. Right after my conference with Alicia I got a text from my friend Maddie. It said “Hey Julia! I don’t know why, but I just felt like telling you that you are beautiful and I love you!” It was no coincidence that she sent that message out of the blue right after Alicia’s conference. When I read it, it warmed my heart and it was so comforting to know that my friends love me. But now I realized that God was sending me that message through Maddie. The timing was spot on, and the message meant the world to me. I was vulnerable and needed some encouragement so God immediately sent a kind reminder through Maddie.

Talking to Ryan was a miracle in itself. I figured she would have already been at home in Irvine but when I called she was just about to leave Chapman and if I had called any later she would have been gone. She stayed for a meeting that was canceled. If she knew it were canceled she would have been home much earlier, and if it weren’t canceled she would not have been able to talk because she would have been in the meeting. It was as if God had that meeting canceled just so Ryan could be here for me. Through Ryan, I saw God holding onto me, even through my broken heart.

That night I did not stay up and cram for my test. I studied a little, prayed a lot, and then slept. I knew I needed sleep more than anything. The next morning I woke up to a message from Ryan reminding me that its a brand new day and yesterday is over… My friend Nicole texted me saying that she had been praying for me.. And my friend Allie texted me a verse from 2timothy. This was such an awesome way to start the day! God showed me that He loves me and that my friends are here for me. I had a feeling that things were starting to get better. I got to my anatomy class and my teacher signed my grade check for my choreo proposal. She knew I was failing but she said “Julia, we are just gonna anticipate that you are going to do well on this test today and I am going to write that you are passing”. This was amazing!! I was soooo thankful! This was God’s mercy. She could have failed me, but she knew I wanted to choreograph so she showed me unconditional kindness. Before taking the test, Angie (my friend who sits next to me) told me to read Hebrews 12 when I got a chance. I left that class feeling pretty good. The test was really easy and even though I didn’t study, I have a really good chance of getting a B or a C. I got through the test and my theatre presentation and I could relax. When I got home, I immediately read Hebrews 12 and I was amazed. It was about how disciples go through trials because God wants to discipline us. Just as parents discipline their kids to teach them, God was letting me go through this to become spiritually mature.

At the end of the day I prayed that God would help me find strength in my dance classes so that I would not continue to feel defeated by Alicia. God completely changed my perspective. Alicia’s harsh lecture was just an opportunity for me to prove her wrong. This meant that I had to step it up and show the department that I have strength from my Father. I will admit, I am still very hurt by what Alicia said, but if we never had that conference, I would not have the motivation that I now have. This was just a way for God to push me because He knows that I am capable of more. Its crazy because on Wednesday I felt so betrayed, but now I see that in a way, this is His form of protection.

This crazy rollercoaster of a week ended with a sleepover at Ryans house. I got out of rehearsal early Friday night so I got to enjoy fellowship for the rest of the night, which is exactly what I needed. We got boba and spent time talking and looking at the stars ontop of ”Suicide Hill”. The night was so perfect. Making it through all the crap this week, I feel stronger. I know that God used these trials to bring me closer to Him. I know that nothing else really matters but seeking God’s kingdom. It is so insane because God used ALL of this for my good. Instead of letting me figure it out alone, He was there every step of the way. I am so hungry for Him and I am satisfied knowing that He is all I need. Through all of the heartbreak, my Savior has brought restoration and more desperation for Him.

"You will seek me and fine me when you seek me with all your heart"

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:46:39 -0400

“You will seek me and fine me when you seek me with all your heart”

"You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no..."

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:09:40 -0400

““You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive””

- Merce Cunningham

"Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me."

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 03:07:39 -0400

“Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me.”

bio-luminescent waves

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 03:54:31 -0400

Last night I had one of the most incredible experiences with some amazing friends and I feel the need to share it.

This past week I’ve been really overwhelmed with life’s burdens and the distractions of this world. I’ve had rehearsals every night until past midnight and then tons of homework. Normally I don’t let homework stress me out, but this week was just too much. Running on no sleep and constantly being in rehearsal was exhausting and I was not drawing strength from God. More importantly, this week I have constantly been put down by nonbelievers. Sometimes I can’t handle being in the dance department at my school. I am very different from the other dancers and this week I felt like such an outsider. Last night, coming out of an extremely long day of ballet, work, and rehearsal, God surprised me with a great night and amazing friends to remind me that I am so loved.

My friends came over to bake brownies, eat ice cream, and watch Despicable me. It was an incredible time of fellowship and just talking with my girls. When I thought the night couldn’t get any better, a friend invited us to the beach. So around 11:30 we all drove to Huntington Beach and had an AMAZING experience with God. The waves were literally glowing, neon green (bioluminescent). It was so awesome! I had never seen anything like it before. Man, God is SO creative! Seriously, the waves were GLOWING! How crazy is that?! And the sky was so clear for us to see the stars. Everything was just so beautiful. My friends and I were in complete awe of how great our Savior is. It was as if God made this night just for us. We sat on the beach for hours, talking about God’s grace and just how cool He is. I was reminded that night how much I don’t understand God’s love for me.

I always try to do life on my own. I rely on my own strength. But this week I was tired, broken, stressed, and overwhelmed. So many times this week I could have spent more time with God. Everyday God had provided ten minutes to talk to Him and to draw strength from Him, but instead I ignored Him and thought I could do it alone. Sometimes I have to get to this point so God can remind me why I need strength from Him. I am humbled by everything that God showed me last night. He knew that it is my own fault for being exhausted, but He still made the ocean light up to remind me how big He is.

Thank you God for not letting me be in control of my own life. Thank you for never making me do this alone.

A Love Letter from God

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 21:29:27 -0400

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Pslam 139:1)

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2)

I know all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)

For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)

For you are my child. (Acts 17:28)

I knew you before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:17)

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26)

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm139:17)

And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes and I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31)

My question is: Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)

I am waiting for you. (Luke 1:12-13)

Your loving father,

The almighty God